I have horrible vision. I don’t wear glasses because they’re trendy, I wear them because sometimes my contacts are a pain. I wear contacts half of the time but I'd never have my hands clean enough to take them out/put them in and I’d probably end up drinking the saline solution out of thirst anyway. Plus if I don't lose my glasses running and fighting off a zombie they'll be so scratched up that I won't be able to see through them. Note to self: get Lasik NOW! It can be a matter of life and death.
I can't remember a time when I didn’t have ear buds on if I had to be alone for more than five minutes. I'm a music fanatic and have been wearing headphones wherever I went since like 1993. What will I do when I can't charge my iPhone anymore and my world goes silent? Sure, I'll be able to hear the crunching of leaves from zombies, animals or humans but I'm not all about that. If I die before my battery does music might be the death of me. I just hope my zombie death song is an awesome one. I can totally see myself forgetting all about them and why I’m randomly in the woods as I dance walk to New Order's True Faith.
5. Lack of Upper Body Strength
I seriously have none. None. I can walk for miles and even run for days if I have to but don't ask me to climb a fence. My research (re: obsession with zombie movies/tv shows) leads me to believe that the key to surviving the zompocolypse requires climbing fences and scaling walls. Nah kid. I can't do that.
The only time I wear pants is when I’m working out and I don’t think my yoga pants will cut it. I know the apocalypse requires tough materials that won’t shred easily so a skirt may be better but I’ll end up being covered in scratches and cuts that can totally lead to an infection. That’s a lame way to die when that shit is going down. I could wear jeans if I want to avoid that but denim and I don't mix and we never will.
|drugs not hugs|